It's very important to avoid negativity which might discourage further affirmations. Learn how to speak the Words of Affirmation love language, even if it’s not your love language. Dr. Gary Chapman gives many many other examples, tips, and solid advice on speaking the Words of Affirmation Love Language, and of course the other four love languages. If your fans use words of affirmation as their love language, they’re MUCH more likely to keep clicking and buying a feed subscription. Ebonny (author) from UK on June 12, 2019: I so appreciate this positive feedback and your taking the time to comment. 50 Super Sweet Things To Say To Someone Whose Love Language Is ‘Words Of Affirmation’ Well, you can stop wondering, because you've now got the lowdown on Words of Affirmation right here. Make the effort to listen actively and respond with understanding. If his love language is words of affirmation, what he is really needing from you, is to hear WHY you love him. Now off you go and put this into action. … Moreover, you feel even more delighted if someone backs up that compliment with genuine reasons. saying “missing you - can’t wait till you get home”. If your heart swells when your S.O. Also, see below for a variety of ways to convey words of affirmation, how to accept affirmations and compliments gracefully (very important), and what readers of The 5 Love Languages have to say about the book. Thank You. I really appreciate how I can always rely on you to... You’re a great mother/father/stepmom, etc. Some commented that they do not often read books, but were happy to read this twice: such was the impact of the book they wanted to get the most out of it. I do agree giving the book is a great gift for a couple, be they at the start of their relationship or much further down the line. Your partner might just thank you for it—with a sweet love note. Learning your partner’s and your own primary love language will help create a stronger bond in your relationship. Harry Styles And Olivia Wilde Are Dating!! Now we know you can’t possibly have a crazy-long dialogue with … That's Quality Time. It … You have an ear for B.S., so “authenticity is key,” says Comaroto. Check your DMs, and we can’t stress this enough, EVERY DAY. If you struggle with self-esteem (not necessarily the case, but possible), you need to work on the self-love first, says Comaroto. This quiz is based on the five love languages, which are Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Gifts, and Quality Time. And if compliments make you melt, your love language is probably Words of Affirmation. This can ultimately rekindle the lost love. It's hard for me to understand that for some people just acts of service is enough to make them feel loved.;-). But first, why it's so important that you help them do so: Having different love languages isn't necessarily a deal breaker, but not studying up on how each of you feels most loved—and trying to deliver on it—can make navigating inevitable relationship challenges extremely tough, says Comaroto. Say, “I'm really pleased you notice—thank you.” Say, “That’s very encouraging—thank you.” Give a hug as you thank them. Ebonny (author) from UK on January 17, 2017: I appreciate you getting in touch and, to be honest, I'm sure there may be a good many people who are jealous of your wife - in that she has a partner who has taken time to look into how he might uplift her and the relationship. As well as words of affirmation, the love languages are Your effort and persistence are astounding. Have no idea what I'm talking about? Even if I didn't need you, I'd still want you. You notice your partner's new haircut immediately and remember to ask your coworker about his daughter's birthday party. is straightforward and to the point. Indeed it is aptly described as the secret to love that endures forever. Less famously, Chapman also wrote about the 5 Love Languages at work, the same 5 concepts—but office appropriate. "An attractive female friend told me to stop worrying about my looks because I'm hot. Help is given for ascertaining a partner's love language even if they do not do the quiz designed for this purpose. Those are the ones who really feel words of affirmation. The 5 love languages help us speak to our spouse in words, thoughts, and feelings that they understand and receive as love. You're the one I love—just can't help myself! Some felt the book could be thought of as a "training ground" to rekindle romance and bring about a significantly happier and more fulfilling marriage/relationship. tell them how much you enjoyed spending time with them at the weekend.). Why? I couldn't have chosen a better woman/wife/mother, man/husband/father. This article is full of great examples and resources. Thanks again. When it comes to relationships, feeling understood and, of course, appreciated is crucial. If you’re not familiar with the book, the idea is that all of us speak a love language. Of course, you can directly compliment your spouse when others are present too. Words of affirmation for your child that will build your child’s self-esteem. Words of Affirmation Love Language: Ebonny, This article centers on the "Words of Affirmation Love Language" from the book The 5 Love Languages, and discusses ways to fill a partner, husband, or wife's 'love tank.'. Are you a narcissist who thrives off of praise from others? Of course, this doesn’t mean that you/your partner don’t express and appreciate the other languages, such as acts of service, physical touch, quality time, and receiving/giving gifts. The concept of the Words of Affirmation love language was introduced in Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages. Make a point of noticing the good things in life generally everyday and share these thoughts with your significant other. Therefore adapt, omit, and add to the examples on this page as required and develop the habit of offering words of affirmation every day—whatever the initial response. It outlines five general ways that romantic partners express and experience love, which Chapman calls "love languages".They are acts of service, gift-giving, physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation. Thanks for that,” or: “The rain today must have been a real bummer. Romance/Affection. Positive affirmations are a great tool to shape our thoughts. I've bought and given away several copies of Chapman's book because it is a relationship saver. Talk is cheap—unless, of course, your love language is Words of Affirmation. One five star reviewer said the book made “life changing good sense”. (ouch, re mix of UK and US spellings! Hence do challenge yourself to give at least two genuine heartfelt compliments, words of appreciation, and/or encouragement daily. We tell each other (1) what we regret doing (or not doing) that day (2) what we’re thankful for and (3) how we know the other person is “the one.”. Ebonny (author) from UK on August 05, 2013: So Words of Affirmation is certainly a primary language for you and if those around you know and practise this you must be a very happy bunny! Engage with your Fans . If your love language is Words of Affirmation or Affection, once your partner understands that, then it may not be too hard for them to give it to you. Not doing it? When you don't have a choice, as in your situation when your boyfriend is on the road, seems to me it's a good option. The author of The 5 Love Languages advocates affirming the good qualities a spouse possesses to third parties, which could well make a spouse positively beam when the news gets back to them. Gary Chapman defines it as “unsolicited compliments”. This may be words of encouragement, compliments, or praise. His love language is words of affirmation. They may come in the form of: (unfortunately) can't read your mind, so here's how to keep them in the loop: At the end of the day, Words of Affirmation is all about communication and, well, affirmation—so take time to educate your partner about what it means for you and your bond will be all the better for it. It makes me happy when I remember the time when we went to... / when we did... You have the cutest nose, ears, eyebrows...whatever. If your child’s love language is the words of affirmation, be very careful not to say negative words that will hurt this child much more than another, whose love language is caresses, or gifts, or quality time. Even when you make me mad, I still love you. Ebonny (author) from UK on February 01, 2016: Ebonny (author) from UK on August 10, 2015: My feeling is that words of affirmation in a text, e-mail, note, letter or whatever can be just as powerful as the spoken word on the telephone or face to face. If that last one sounds like you—the way you feel the feels is through kind and reassuring verbal remarks—you might wonder what that says about you. Keep enjoying one another. Each one is important and expresses love in its own way. Don’t take my word for it though. The easiest affirming words to understand are those that convey love clearly … … Ebonny (author) from UK on February 08, 2017: Many thanks for sharing your views. Very Important - Remember that asking your spouse about their day, how they are, and/or how they feel affirms concern in their well being and shows interest and care. In short, if Words of Affirmation is your love language, it means what your partner has to say about you and to you speaks volumes. Bless your children with the words of encouragement. As well as a list of examples, there is also advice for those who cannot readily think of anything great to say about their partner! People who speak in Words of Affirmation tend to be ones who pay attention to and care about the particulars of others' lives. For example: The above are examples of how to graciously receive compliments or words of affirmation from a partner or spouse. It's not about fishing for compliments, but rather knowing that your partner thinks as highly of you as you do them. That's not to say a throwaway "Love you!" This content is imported from {embed-name}. Words Of Affirmation. No amount of affection or reassurance from an outside party can replace your own. This is how we both express love and how we receive love. Moreover, some people have a much harder time putting their thoughts and feelings into words than others. Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on August 04, 2013: Four percent (4%) of the population learn by what they hear (not what they see). Women's Health may earn commission from the links on this page, but we only feature products we believe in. Forced me to look closely at how I can treat my spouse in a more loving and understanding way. Thank you for this article! Words of Affirmation is typically the language of someone who gets off knowing their partner is paying attention to them, notices what makes them tick, and appreciates what makes them special, says relationship psychologist Maryanne Comaroto, PhD. If this isn't your strong suit, try standing in front of a mirror and telling yourself, "I'm enough." Lest you or your spouse let embarrassment or self-worth issues get in the way of appreciating a genuine compliment, here are some essential observations about the impact of inadvertently offending, insulting, or interrogating the person giving the compliment, the consequences of this behavior, why some people find it difficult to accept words of affirmation, and how they might eventually start to feel warmer and more accepting. My boyfriend is a trucker and is gone for 90% of the month so we rely on texting, and social media to communicate until he is home. If your partner's love language is affirmation of words, then there's a good … People who have words of affirmation as their primary love language have a nose for B.S. It's about how to relate and convey love to a partner in the way that they can most feel and accept. The fans who send you messages wanting to chat? Talk Dirty During Sex. Anything less can feel like a platitude and not actually affirmative at all. To some, words may not seem that meaningful, but to people whose love language is words of affirmation, underneath each word is an ocean of meaning and significance that is working to either strengthen or weaken the relationship's bonds. does the dishes after your Friendsgiving, that's Acts of Service. I guess it's why we tend to keep old "love letters" and revisit them for years to come. - UK writer/US editor!). I happen to be one of them and I have to hear in order to respond effectively. The strategies advocated by The 5 Love Languages are a powerful way of making a difference in your marriage. For example, "Thank you for getting me my favourite _____ every week—that's so thoughtful." Sometimes I think texts etc. Simply hearing: “I couldn’t have made it through my meeting today if you hadn't suggested I take the last granola bar with me. In short, if you thrive on the thoughtfulness behind a present, Receiving Gifts is yours. The Truth About 'Acts Of Service' Love Language, This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. For example, "You look great in that suit—I love how the colour brings out your skin tone, eye colour," or "You're such a patient and caring parent—I especially like how you ... " give a specific example(s). What Exactly Are The Five Love Languages? If you're all about morning kisses or you feel most connected during sex, you speak the language of Physical Touch. However, if you are experiencing extremely profound relationship difficulties you may want to consider how counselling might benefit you in addition to applying the love languages. It doesn't have to be a long, thorough love letter though. Words of Affirmation is one of five Love Languages that author Gary Chapman identified, the other four being Gifts, Acts of Service, Quality Time and Touch. In other words, compliments that weren’t asked for. Are you way too invested in what your partner thinks of you? Feel most appreciated at a nice dinner? Because of all that, you are someone who's looking for genuine appreciation or empathy, and if you don't hear it, you may not feel it. David and Victoria Beckham definitely speak each other's love languages—peep the proof in their ~body~ language: A big Words of Affirmation no-no is relying on your partner to make you feel good about yourself. Pump him up. So be sure you... Be Empathetic. You tune in to details, and people love that about you. I feel sure your consistency will pay off. When complimenting, add specific details that will let a spouse know that they are genuinely appreciated. "You bring me so much happiness." But expectations like that will just leave you wanting—at the end of the day, self-worth will always be an inside job. The famous 5 Love Languages—Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Physical Touch, and Gifts—were originally laid out by Gary Chapman, a philosophy PhD, author, and talk show host. Readers have asserted that it helped them understand their own reasons for doing particular things with and for their partner, and how both they and their partner show love in ways which they were unaware of. Some have said they now regularly give the book as a wedding gift to family and friends, such is their belief in its principles. a short love note in an unexpected place where you know they will come across it (e.g. The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate is a 1992 book by Gary Chapman. Article by Shihori Obata: Artist & Creative Blogger. 2.8k. Being educated about the five love languages and knowing how your partner best appreciates and feels loved, it is possible to channel and harness efforts in the direction that will be most noticed, valued, welcomed, and effective. Words of Affirmation Gifts. It doesn't mean you fish for compliments. For example: Say, “Ah, thank you” with a smile or wink. Also, some people find it embarrassing to give or receive a compliment face to face and having it done via the written word can take away some of that uneasiness for the giver or receiver. a text (e.g. Ask yourself this: are you a team cheerleader, or are you more of a “put your … "Words of Affirmation is typically the language of someone who gets off knowing that their partner is paying attention to them...and appreciates what makes them special.". "People often feel compelled to seek love outside of themselves, so there's a lot of pressure put on partners to complete us," she says. The definition for the love language, words of affirmation, is verbal compliments and words of appreciation. will land, though. 60 Celebrity Couples You Forgot Were Married, Big Yikes: Sooo Many Celeb Couples Split In 2020, Prince Charles And Camilla's Royal Romance, Couples Who Have Been Together For 20+ Years, Brilliant Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas For Him. I know you were looking forward to going for a run this afternoon,” is enough. Thanks! When one person is bending over backwards to please the other and the effort goes unappreciated, it can lead to entrenched relationship-killing resentment, so efforts to rekindle will need a distinct change of direction. For those committed to boosting their chances of going the full distance with the love of their life, The 5 Love Languages is a worthwhile read to say the least. They want you to help with chores around the house, to make them special meals, to do their ironing when you do yours, to wash their car when they are too busy or to organise a birthday celebration. and/or to give some of the reasons the spouse or partner is loved, appreciated, desired, and cherished. Are Your Relationship Expectations Realistic? If your boyfriend is a words of affirmation person, I'm sure he'll be more than happy for you to text in these terms so do give it a try if you haven't already. Each of the five love languages is explained in detail, and broken down into dialects that individuals can relate to. I agree it's great to express love in a variety of languages and in focusing on a particular language(s) would not entirely exclude the other languages. In the end, the Words of Affirmation love language is exactly that: affirming another person by using our words. His book, The 5 Love Languages, is a highly rated best seller, and after reading a selection of reviews from those who had read the book, I purchased an unabridged copy of the audio version to listen to with my partner. The Words of Affirmation love language is a way of communicating with loved ones using words or phrases to make them feel good about who they are and what they do. can be even more poignant as when we write things down we have more time to consider our words carefully and find just the right way to best express our deep feelings of admiration, praise, encouragement or whatever. The term words of affirmation comes from Gary Chapman’s must-own book The 5 love languages. I look forward to waking up with you every day for the rest of my life. If your love language is words of affirmation, you respond very favourably to compliments. Many thanks for dropping by. Ebonny (author) from UK on July 14, 2019: Many thanks for your feedback and thoughts Benny. 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